Emerging: Mi Cultura..Mi Jornada-My Culture..My Journey

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Tattoo's,Morality and Minor Rebellions

I am not quite sure how old I was when my mother first told me that tattoo’s were a bad thing for women to do to their bodies. When I asked Mami why it was a bad thing, she simply made a face and said that only “loose” women had them. But what did it mean? And why wasn’t it bad for men? I never did get a clearer answer than that from my mother but as I got older, I began to understand that it was an integral part of our cultural beliefs.

As it is in most Latino cultures, men and women were, and are still held by different standards. Growing up as one of two girls in a house with seven brothers was not an easy thing. Each brother was more of a machista than the next, and therefore, were an integral part of the belief system I was raised in. For example, if a man was unfaithful to his wife he was considered to be, and even revered by others, as a great man. Yet, if a woman did the same thing, she was labeled a whore, and if she happened to have children, she would be thought of as an unfit mother. Thus, the woman would be forever scorned by society.

As most of us eventually do, I had children. In raising my children, I tried to use equal measures of the belief system I was raised with, and the knowledge that life was different from when I was growing up. I used what I believed to be the good things of my upbringing, and replaced those I felt were wrong with what I felt were in tune with the changing times.

The topic of tattoos was never brought up by any one of my children as an issue to be discussed. I am sure that it may have come up in passing, and I can remember clearly making the same face my mother did and putting it to rest. My day of dealing with this came soon enough. When my oldest daughter turned eighteen, she decided she wanted either a tattoo or a tongue ring. Her way of presenting me with her wish was very straightforward and honest. Two things that as my child, she knew I would value and appreciate. Clearly we had something that needed to be addressed. We each had a turn at stating our case.

I explained to my daughter in what I felt was a concise manner why I did not like the idea of her getting a tattoo or piercing. All the while my insides felt like they were on fire, I was terrified that if my child went ahead with getting a tattoo, I would see her as damaged. Of course, that is one of those thoughts and feelings you don’t dare divulge to your child even under the most extreme circumstances. After all the explaining, pleading, and begging, I gave up. I had to use a different tactic, so I did; I simply stated that as her parent, I would not allow her to do it, period!

To which in turn my daughter, with all the charm in the world, simply broke me down by stating that she was technically an adult therefore, she did not need my consent. She went on to say that while she could and would go behind my back to do it; she would prefer it if I were a part of what she called her “minor rebellion”. Needless to say, we made a compromise, I agreed to the tongue ring. She later went on to adding the tattoo, behind my back, at the age of twenty-one. While I don’t see my child as damaged, or any less of a young woman with class, I still strongly disagree with what she chose to do to her body.

The issue of getting a tattoo or not continues to be a controversial one for me. While I have seen some tattoo’s that are interesting, it is not something I find admirable. It has been a difficult journey for me to accept that in today’s society it is acceptable to have a tattoo which, is even considered an “art form”.

Everyday I wage a battle within myself, with the belief that was instilled in me as a child. I try not to define a person by the tattoos they may have. This in itself is difficult because my automatic reaction to a person with a tattoo is that they are “trash, less than perfect” human beings. Who am I to judge? To some this may be something that doesn’t even cross their mind, yet to me, I find I have to stop and weigh my thoughts. I have to “level out the playing field, so to speak, by remembering that my child now has not one, but two tattoos.

Is it a moral or personal issue to get a tattoo on your body? I cannot speak for others, only for myself. Because of my upbringing and the moral belief that it is not a thing of beauty but a thing to be ashamed of, I cannot see myself ever getting a tattoo. Would I like a tattoo? Yes, I guess I should be honest and admit to it. Maybe a younger me in today’s contemporary, free-age way of thinking would get one but for now, I still have a 19 and 15 year old that have me waiting with baited breath for what they feel they want to do to their bodies as their “minor rebellion”.
This Emergence Ocurred at , 4:57 PM

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